The serenity prayer, and its meaning

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

I've been around cocaine anonymous for a while, so I've said this prayer 100's of times. But today I have understood it's true meaning to myself.

So, what does it mean? And why is it important to the suffering alcoholic addict?

I had a difficult morning today, I was accompanying my family to the hospital for results on the growth of my brothers brain tumour. I was plagued with fear and anxiety. And really wanted to just run away and hide.

But hiding is what I have done in the past. I have used such appointments as an excuse to use and be wreckless. Making such situations all about me.

Today I found myself saying the serenity prayer lots.

I was praying to accept the things I cannot change. The outcome of the decision was already pre determined before my fear and anxiety kicked in. I had to develop an acceptance that this outcome was not in my control, and no amount of running, hiding and using would change this outcome.

I was praying for the courage to change the things I can. Now instead of running and hiding which is what I would have done in the past which would have been no help to anyone, despite my intense fear, what I did have the power to change was being there for once for my family at this difficult time. This was a new experience for me, and there was times when I was close to telling my parents that I would go home and wait for the news, or that I would wait in the car.

But I did it. I had the acceptance that I wasnt in control, and I had the courage to support my family.

The news was fantastic, the tumour hadn't grown.

.....and that's what the serenity prayer means to me.

Thomas