My step 12, in action.

I stalled a little after my step 11, through fear more than anything. I wanted to keep what I had, and felt that if I found myself trying to be assistance to those people seeking what I had found in sobriety, then I could find myself in danger of joining them, rather than helping them.

How selfish of me. After all, I relied on the knowledge of recovered addicts to help me get to where I am, so why on earth did I feel so frightened to pass on what I have learned from these people in order to assist others. I heard it said 'You've got to keep what you have got, by giving it away' and how right that proved to be.

One of my best friends is an alcoholic, I wont name her, but yesterday she had found her rock bottom and called me for help. It was something I had to do. I offered to take her to a meeting, or meet up for a walk, but she couldn't do that. She just couldn't face going out of the house, so she invited me around. I had never found myself in this situation before, and I am extremely grateful that my addiction never led me down the path of alcohol, so before seeing her I tried to gain some knowledge. I spoke to my sponsor and called into rehab who were all really honored to help. I can't thank them enough. 

So, I went to my friends, confident in myself that I had the knowledge and power granted to me by god, to help my friend. After the quantity she had drank, which again isn't appropriate to share, I was advised by almost everyone to get her to hospital.

Upon seeing her I was shocked, she had aged dramatically since I last seen her, she was frail, and had lost the spark in her eyes. From seeing her, I completely understood why she just couldn't go out. So, after the first challenge of facing her was out the way it was quickly onto the second challenge. She asked me to get her alcohol. I honestly didn't know what to do. In my mind I knew it was the right thing to do, but I just felt so uncomfortable buying alcohol for an alcoholic friend who means so much to me. My addiction brought me to my knees mentally, not physically so it was so hard seeing someone who ACTUALLY needed to consume her demon, in order to function.

Again, strong sponsorship helped me. I called my sponsor, asked if I should buy her alcohol and he told me that yes, it would actually be recommended by alcohol services.

So I did, and thankfully my friend did, after a small quantity of alcohol agree to come the hospital with me. Now the last three times I've been in the emergency department were due to suicide attempts, so it was the last place i wanted to be for what turned out to be almost 4 hours, but I was selfless, patient and tolerant.

She got the help she needed and agreed to a detox. I accompanied her home, made her a cup of tea and tidied up for her, I also made sure there was no alcohol in her house. And thankfully today, she is still sober.

This experience, although I would have preferred it to have not been someone so close to me has been utterly rewarding. In helping others I have helped myself. Which is exactly what the 12th step is all about.

Thanks for reading.

Thomas